Itโs surprisingly easy to make a fool of yourself at the table whilst on holiday in Italy. Not loud, not spectacular โ but embarrassing.
Anyone who goes out for dinner whilst on holiday in Italy is navigating a minefield of unwritten rules. The German comes in from the beach, smelling of sun cream, and strides into the restaurant in flip-flops, as if the place were an extension of his sun lounger. The Italian arrives an hour or two later, freshly showered, changed, with a pressed shirt, and now strikes a pose over his aperitivo as if he were heading for a job interview at Armani.
There are ten rules that bridge these two worlds:
1. Donโt just sit down
That empty table with a sea view is practically calling your name. Ignore it. In Italy, youโre seated like a chess piece, not like a self-service customer. Anyone who takes a seat of their own accord will be met with a smile that means both โWelcomeโ and โYouโve just made a mistakeโ.
2. The โflip-flopโ question is not a question
Making a good impression isnโt just a clichรฉ, itโs a must โ even at the pizzeria round the corner. If you turn up in a bikini with a sunburnt head, you wonโt be thrown out. Worse still: youโll be ignored. Whilst Germans still regard sand between their toes as part of the holiday atmosphere, Italians dress up in evening wear.
3. Ice cubes in wine are a cause for war
Summer heat or not: anyone who orders their white wine with a mountain of ice cubes to get it โreally coldโ has just mortally offended the waiter. The wine is already at the right temperature, thank you very much. If it isnโt cold enough, itโs simply been on the table for too long โ and thatโs your fault, not the kitchenโs.
4. Cheese on fish โ what an affront!
Ask for Parmesan to go with the seafood, and youโll witness a quiet but very Italian expression of horror. This isnโt just a quirk, itโs the rule: cheese and fish simply donโt go together in this cuisine. Full stop.
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5. The menu is not a basis for discussion
โNo garlic, sauce on the side, a different type of pastaโ โ phrases like these will turn a relaxed chef into one whoโs quietly cursing under their breath. The dish has already been planned out before youโve even sat down at the table. If youโd like to make any changes, simply order a different dish โ and save yourself the hassle of arguing.
6. Four courses, one order, no exceptions
Antipasto, Primo, Secondo, Dolcee. Anyone who orders pasta and steak at the same time, or treats a salad as a main course, throws not only the waiter but the entire structure of Italian cuisine into disarray. You donโt have to eat every course. But the sequence of events is sacrosanct.
7. The Coperto is not a trick, but a tradition
A few extra euros for the table service, regardless of what youโve ordered โ this isnโt a tourist rip-off, but standard practice thatโs been around for decades. Anyone who complains loudly will attract unwanted attention.
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8. A pizza, a plate, no arguments
The idea of four people sharing a Margherita and ordering a salad โfor everyoneโ might work on a North Sea beach. In Italy, itโs sure to draw puzzled looks from the neighbouring table. Everyone orders their own dish, and thatโs that. If you want to share, do so quietly and discreetly โ and itโs best not to mention it to the waiter.
9. The mobile phone is switched off
A photo of your plate: allowed, even encouraged. A loud video call across the restaurant, whilst the neighbouring table is forced to listen in on how your mother-in-law is getting on: a capital offence against table manners.
10. The clock does not exist
Thereโs a deliberate pause between courses โ for wine, conversation and simply doing nothing. Anyone whoโs already waving their credit card around five minutes after the last bite looks as though theyโve got a flight to catch. The bill only arrives when you specifically ask for it anyway โ otherwise, in theory, youโre free to stay until midnight without bothering anyone.
