How to avoid blunders in Italy: 10 golden rules

Out and about in Bari in the evening

From of our editorial team

Italy is an open country. Warm, loud, beautiful. And yet full of rules that are never spoken. Not out of secrecy - but because people assume that they know them. But often you don't. Especially when you're visiting and think a smile is enough. It's not.

If you don't want to stand out in Italy - or at least not in an unpleasant way - you should master a few basic principles. Here are ten of them. And no, the cappuccino after 11 o'clock is not included. It should be known by now.

1. There are kisses even without a relationship.

Two kisses on the cheek - right, left - are part of everyday life. Not out of intimate affection, but because it's the right thing to do. If you're too stiff, you don't come across as polite, but as strange. So: short, relaxed, without physical contact. Not a ritual, more of a reflex.

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2. a greeting is not a nicety, but standard.

You enter a shop? You say "Buongiorno". Even in a copy shop. If you come in without saying a word and start asking questions, you make yourself unpopular - not dramatically, but unnecessarily. Friendliness is not an add-on here, it is infrastructure.

3. no chrysanthemums. Never.

Flowers are okay. Chrysanthemums are not. They belong in cemeteries - you know that, even if you never talk about it. Bringing them to an invitation doesn't make an impression, but a suggestion. Unintentional, but clear.

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4. you say titles - whether you like it or not.

"Dottore", "Professore", "Ingegnere" - yes, that sounds exaggerated. But it's not. It shows respect, and that's what you get here. Even if the Ingegnere has been retired for twenty years and has long preferred cooking to design.

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5. elbows down, hands up.

Clear rules apply at the table. Hands remain visible, elbows disappear. Not because it poses a danger, but because it has become so naturalised. Anything else looks careless or inattentive. Both are unwelcome.

6. Clothing is communication.

You don't have to be beautiful. But well-groomed. Italy is not a country of ostentation, but of presence. If you shuffle through an old town centre in flip-flops, you may not have lost any time - but you have lost attitude. And that's what counts.

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7 Parmesan is not a fundamental right.

If the waiter asks if you want cheese, you can nod. If he doesn't ask, it's better to ask yourself: Why not? Because not everything Parmesan cheese. Not shells, for example. And never a sense of style anyway.

8. "May I sit down?" - that's not just a phrase.

A free seat is not automatically free in Italy. You ask - even if there's nobody around. Not because you have to, but because you know: that's how it's done here.

9. closeness is okay - if it is well dosed.

Italy is physical. You touch each other, gesticulatesis present. But if you create too much closeness too quickly, you don't come across as cordial, but intrusive. It's the rhythm that counts - and the other person sets the rhythm.

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10. conclusion? Not complicated - just consistent.

Italy is not a mystery. It is a system of small, often unwritten agreements. If you know them, you can get away with it. Those who ignore them are still welcome - but may not get a second kiss.

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